I went to a furniture store last weekend looking for a large couch. The salesman showed me a nice one and said, “This sofa will seat five people without any problems!” I began laughing uncontrollably. I said, “Where the heck am I going to find five people without any problems?!”
On Christmas Eve, Nathan thought it would be nice to buy his wife a little gift for the next day. Always short of money, he thought long and hard about what that present might be. Unable to decide, Nathan entered a department store and in the cosmetics section he asked the girl, “How about some perfume?” She showed him a bottle costing $75. “Too expensive,” muttered Nathan. The young lady returned with a smaller bottle for $50. “Oh, dear,” Nathan groused. “Still far too much.” Growing rather annoyed at Nathan’s meanness, the salesgirl brought out a tiny $10 bottle and offered it to him. Nathan became really agitated. “What I mean,” he whined, “is I’d like to see something really cheap.” So the sales girl handed him a mirror.
A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping center was packed and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do. She became so worried that she called him on her cell phone to ask him where he was. In a quiet voice he said, “Do you remember the jewelers we went into about five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn’t afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?” The wife choked up and started to cry and said, “Yes, I do remember that shop.” He replied, “Well, I’m in the bar next door.”