If you fish were employees...

[JoJosReef]

What employee personality box would your fish fit into? Mine are pretty easy.

Tailspot blenny - PR and outreach professional, team leader, most likely to host a teambuilding retreat probably involving a trust swim

Exquisite firefish - constantly in HR asking for more leave for mental well-being, "hybrid" worker but only seen in office maybe 10%

Yasha goby + pistol shrimp - team unit, very visible in "getting work done", and while the enthusiasm is appreciated, sometimes the results of their "work" cause problems that upper management has to resolve

Mr. and Mrs. Pink Streak - works well individually and as a team, perhaps the most effective employees in the office, the ones that get things done, quiet, focused, efficient, however, not a public-facing employee and better at submitting reports than presenting them

Blue star leopard wrasse - Type A personality, office favorite, great "fishes" person, skilled public speaker, persuasive, keeps a very strict schedule, a closer, generally non-combative but will hold her ground

Yellow wrasse - always the smartest fish in the tank, avoids conflict, may be bipolar, would be dismissed if she wasn't so good at what she does, keeps a strict schedule, often mistaken for another type of wrasse which puts HR in a panic

Mrs. Clown - this employee has been dismissed, LinkedIn shows she has taken a position at a new, smaller tank

Mr. Clown - this employee has been dismissed, LinkedIn shows he has followed Mrs. Clown on her new endeavor

Splendid pencil wrasse - new hire, on probationary period, highly motivated, energetic, likely to bite off more than he can chew, in early and out late, this fish is going places

Splendid pintail fairy wrasse - new hire, on probationary period, lack of self-confidence and assertiveness belies great potential

 

[Dburr1014]

Purple tang, work bully

Bellus angel, social butterfly, probably fired pretty quickly.

 

[Mschmidt]

Powder brown: tidy and active. lacking some attention to detail, but the one to call for big jobs. generally gets along with the others. crabby if pay is late.

blue eyed kole: works well with PB. more attention to detail and prefers the smaller jobs, and keeps small problems from turning into big problems. every team should have one.

aiptasia eating filefish: often seen around others who are doing work, and his name shows up on a lot of projects, but he is rarely seen working himself and never on his assigned tasks. goes along and gets along.

falko hawkfish: generally seen sitting around and the reason for a lot of the CuC turnover. not sure what he does, but the bosses wife likes him, so he stays.

coral beauty: the one that shows up to the meetings, says enough to be noticed, then is gone again. can sometimes be seen running from place to place. more collegial than friendly.

Mr. clown: has somehow evaded reductions in staff. since the move to the new building, has stopped lashing out at management, so that's nice. Has found an office in a dark corner.

Mrs. clown: has somehow evaded reductions in staff. since the move to the new building, has stopped lashing out at management, so that's nice. Has found an office in a hammer that doesn't seem to mind.

springer damsel: Hired for a purpose, to control flatworms, and since no flatworms have been seen (ever) must be doing his job. rarely seen, although a delight when it does happen.

 

[i cant think]

He would definitely say something if someone was challenging him after being asked an opinion

 

[Sharkbait19]

Orange spotted blenny - goofball. Makes you laugh even if he’s being serious. Gets the job done well enough and doesn’t like to have competition.

Firefish - comes in, does his job, and leaves. No discernible personality other than a hard worker who shows up in the morning and disappears before lights out. The only thing we know is that he has weird friends (peppermint shrimp and serpent star).

Royal gramma - the face of the company. Comes in to do work and looks good while doing it. Going on a diet wouldn’t hurt but it doesn’t get in the way of his performance.

Longnose hawkfish - Lazy, acts like he owns the place. Will only do work (eats) if he wants to (has to be frozen mysis). Hazes the new employees, might be a serial killer after hours the way he stalks the newest guy. Otherwise a find employee though.

Yellow watchman goby - the new guy. Refuses to leave his cubicle (the breeder box) due to being followed by the hawkfish. Shaping up to be a model employee once he gets used to the office.

Percula clownfish - somehow the perfect employee. She has no problem working well with others (shares her office/toadstool with the hawk and blenny when they want). Fast learner and adaptable.

Flameback angel - the boss’s son. Kind of a jerk and messes up more than he fixes but too pretty to get rid of.


Luxo and Sharkbait - husband and wife team relocated to a different branch after “firing” too many employees. Too valuable for the company to let go. Source of workplace ethics meetings among staff. Don’t work well with others.

 

[JoJosReef]

blue eyed kole: works well with PB. more attention to detail and prefers the smaller jobs, and keeps small problems from turning into big problems. every team should have one

Wondering if a yellow eye kole would work the same. No blue eyes on Dr Reef lately.

 

[JayM]

They’d all be fired.

YWG and Tiger Pistol Shrimp constantly make a mess in work area.

Hippo Tang and Foxface constantly steal food from other employees and refuse to eat what’s offered freely all day (algae).

Clownfish pair - well, you know, clown stuff.

Midas Blenny insists on cleaning his workspace, but dumps his mess on other employees (coral).

Both Firefish look busy, but aren’t really doing anything.

Flame and Lemonpeel Angels are just like the Firefish, constantly swimming about, but don’t get anything done.

CUC spends all day sleeping, but I assume they’re doing something after hours because I can see evidence of them traveling about in the sand.

 

[VintageReefer]

Alll my fish are the group that spends all day at the water cooler, not working, being lazy

 

[Mschmidt]

Wondering if a yellow eye kole would work the same. No blue eyes on Dr Reef lately.

Perhaps. I don't know what the difference is except eyeshadow choices.

 

[Mschmidt]

But I forgot the hardest worker of them all!

Sleeper goby: model employee! Required no training and does his job expertly. I can't say enough good about this worker.

 

[JoJosReef]

But I forgot the hardest worker of them all!

Sleeper goby: model employee! Required no training and does his job expertly. I can't say enough good about this worker.

This is where I want to smack my guidance counselors for not telling us about this profession.

 

[Mschmidt]

This is where I want to smack my guidance counselors for not telling us about this profession.

"go to school." "Get good grades" you'll never get anywhere without higher education"

They're all pawns for big college. It's a sham! don't go! You're all sheeple with your diplomas and degrees! Timothy Leary for president!

 

[Slocke]

Tilefish - suck up always following the boss around and talking himself up despite not doing any work.

Exquisite Foxface - always keeps its head down in the hope no one asks for an update on its work. Terrified of conflict

Maroon clown - no matter how nice you are to her she will be snarky back and her cubicle is always a complete mess.

Dusky wrasse - decorated his desk in neon lights. Generally a cool guy but a lot.

YT tamarin and BS leopard wrasse - the pretty girls who are also great workers who don’t get distracted by the others

Dragon wrasse - the one that brings a sword in to work and goes around trying to intimidate his fellow employees and brag about his karate skills. But he’s actually so out of shape he needs to stop back at his desk every 5 minutes for a breather

 

[Mschmidt]

Tilefish - suck up always following the boss around and talking himself up despite not doing any work.

Exquisite Foxface - always keeps its head down in the hope no one asks for an update on its work. Terrified of conflict

Maroon clown - no matter how nice you are to her she will be snarky back and her cubicle is always a complete mess.

Dusky wrasse - decorated his desk in neon lights. Generally a cool guy but a lot.

YT tamarin and BS leopard wrasse - the pretty girls who are also great workers who don’t get distracted by the others

Dragon wrasse - the one that brings a sword in to work and goes around trying to intimidate his fellow employees and brag about his karate skills. But he’s actually so out of shape he needs to stop back at his desk every 5 minutes for a breather

 

[Slocke]

I definitely had Dwight in mind for the dragon wrasse. Now I need an office prankster and an inappropriate middle manager

 

[Mschmidt]

I definitely had Dwight in mind for the dragon wrasse. Now I need an office prankster and an inappropriate middle manager

I'm sure there's a wrasse for both those roles. But knowing them is not my forte.

edit: some jawfish for the prankster?