Feeling Defeated After 18 Years in the Hobby

[Freddie83]

Feeling Defeated After 18 Years in the Hobby

I’ve been in the reefing hobby for roughly 18 years, and right now, I’m feeling like I’ve reached my breaking point. Over the years, I’ve poured my heart, soul, and a lot of money into my 265-gallon reef tank. From top-of-the-line LED lights, skimmers, wave-makers, chiller, reef mat, and battery backups, (you name it, I got it) to constantly staying on top of water parameters and upgrades, I’ve always tried to give my tank the best. But despite all my efforts, it feels like I’m losing this battle.

The recent hurricane that hit Georgia knocked out my power, and to my devastation, one of my battery backup failed when I needed it most. I’ve lost 80% of my fish and corals, including clownfish I’ve raised from fry for over 15 years. These were fish I watched hatch and grow. Losing them hit me harder than I expected.

I’ve gone through a lot in this hobby: just about any disease possible, mass fish losses, algae outbreaks, and even palytoxin poisoning that landed my family and me in the ER. But this… this is different. After all these years, it feels like no matter how much I invest and prepare— time, money, energy — there are still so many things out of my control. And it’s tough to come to terms with that. I've spent thousands on equipment that is simply not good. Reef mat motor broke after a few months, Apex Trident NP (I'm on my second one) that can't seem to measure Po4 correctly to save it's life, Eco Tech LEDS that can't manage to stay in sync with one another, eco tech battery back up that literally can't do the only job it has when the power goes out.

Now, I’m sitting here wondering if I still have it in me to keep going. I love this hobby, but the emotional and financial toll of this latest loss has left me feeling defeated. Has anyone else gone through something like this? How do you pick up the pieces and decide whether to rebuild or walk away? I’m genuinely torn and could really use some advice and perspective from those who understand the struggles.

Thanks for reading and for any guidance you can offer.

 

[Dburr1014]

Feeling Defeated After 18 Years in the Hobby

I’ve been in the reefing hobby for roughly 18 years, and right now, I’m feeling like I’ve reached my breaking point. Over the years, I’ve poured my heart, soul, and a lot of money into my 265-gallon reef tank. From top-of-the-line LED lights, skimmers, wave-makers, chiller, reef mat, and battery backups, (you name it, I got it) to constantly staying on top of water parameters and upgrades, I’ve always tried to give my tank the best. But despite all my efforts, it feels like I’m losing this battle.

The recent hurricane that hit Georgia knocked out my power, and to my devastation, one of my battery backup failed when I needed it most. I’ve lost 80% of my fish and corals, including clownfish I’ve raised from fry for over 15 years. These were fish I watched hatch and grow. Losing them hit me harder than I expected.

I’ve gone through a lot in this hobby: just about any disease possible, mass fish losses, algae outbreaks, and even palytoxin poisoning that landed my family and me in the ER. But this… this is different. After all these years, it feels like no matter how much I invest and prepare— time, money, energy — there are still so many things out of my control. And it’s tough to come to terms with that. I've spent thousands on equipment that is simply not good. Reef mat motor broke after a few months, Apex Trident NP (I'm on my second one) that can't seem to measure Po4 correctly to save it's life, Eco Tech LEDS that can't manage to stay in sync with one another, eco tech battery back up that literally can't do the only job it has when the power goes out.

Now, I’m sitting here wondering if I still have it in me to keep going. I love this hobby, but the emotional and financial toll of this latest loss has left me feeling defeated. Has anyone else gone through something like this? How do you pick up the pieces and decide whether to rebuild or walk away? I’m genuinely torn and could really use some advice and perspective from those who understand the struggles.

Thanks for reading and for any guidance you can offer.

Sorry to hear, it's a life's work shredded by a power outage. Very cruel indeed.

There is another thread going on now, a person in west north Carolina with no power for days and no idea for the future.

Totally sucks, prayers your way.

Thread 'Restarting a tank days after Helene' https://www.reef2reef.com/threads/restarting-a-tank-days-after-helene.1075724/

 

[Gumbies R Us]

I wish there were more I could say! I am so sorry this hurricane has come through and torn communities apart. At least you are ok with it! Prayers go out to you and everyone else affected by it.

 

[AetherealKnight]

Feeling Defeated After 18 Years in the Hobby

I’ve been in the reefing hobby for roughly 18 years, and right now, I’m feeling like I’ve reached my breaking point. Over the years, I’ve poured my heart, soul, and a lot of money into my 265-gallon reef tank. From top-of-the-line LED lights, skimmers, wave-makers, chiller, reef mat, and battery backups, (you name it, I got it) to constantly staying on top of water parameters and upgrades, I’ve always tried to give my tank the best. But despite all my efforts, it feels like I’m losing this battle.

The recent hurricane that hit Georgia knocked out my power, and to my devastation, one of my battery backup failed when I needed it most. I’ve lost 80% of my fish and corals, including clownfish I’ve raised from fry for over 15 years. These were fish I watched hatch and grow. Losing them hit me harder than I expected.

I’ve gone through a lot in this hobby: just about any disease possible, mass fish losses, algae outbreaks, and even palytoxin poisoning that landed my family and me in the ER. But this… this is different. After all these years, it feels like no matter how much I invest and prepare— time, money, energy — there are still so many things out of my control. And it’s tough to come to terms with that. I've spent thousands on equipment that is simply not good. Reef mat motor broke after a few months, Apex Trident NP (I'm on my second one) that can't seem to measure Po4 correctly to save it's life, Eco Tech LEDS that can't manage to stay in sync with one another, eco tech battery back up that literally can't do the only job it has when the power goes out.

Now, I’m sitting here wondering if I still have it in me to keep going. I love this hobby, but the emotional and financial toll of this latest loss has left me feeling defeated. Has anyone else gone through something like this? How do you pick up the pieces and decide whether to rebuild or walk away? I’m genuinely torn and could really use some advice and perspective from those who understand the struggles.

Thanks for reading and for any guidance you can offer.

I’m so sorry for your loss, I’m not sure what you should do. This might not be the direction for you but if you want to continue and rebuild maybe you could downsize to make it more manageable? That way you can still be in the hobby but the financial risks and wasted energy and time will be less?

Again, I hope you recover from this.

 

[Stevorino]

I'm sorry for that disaster scenario.

Whenever I've had a really bad setback like that, I try to just get the tank into some kind of auto-pilot mode and just take a mental break for a while.

After some time the disaster will start to look more like an opportunity to start anew and the joy will come back.

 

[EgotisticObeseChihuahua]

"When you are visited by chaos and swallowed up; when nature curses you or someone you love with illness; or when tyranny rends asunder something of value that you have built, it is salutary to know the rest of the story. All of that misfortune is only the bitter half of the tale of existence, without taking note of the heroic element of redemption or the nobility of the human spirit requiring a certain responsibility to shoulder. We ignore that addition to the story at our peril, because life is so difficult that losing sight of the heroic part of existence could cost us everything"- Jordan B. Peterson

 

[jft]

God Bless you, hang in there America is going thru tough times right now. I will pray for your restoration. Peace Brother!

 

[littlebeard]

I recently went through my own crash, while words can only do so much in terms of comfort, I think it's important to understand why you've enjoyed the hobby so much over the last 18 years.

Was it just the end goal of an amazing tank or did you enjoy the process of gathering the materials, studying the known information, putting the time and energy to build up the tank?

Journey before destination?

A tank crash is a natural stopping point and I took a break for a few weeks let the emotions clear and examined if I still enjoyed the hobby. I had to ask myself was there another hobby that I'd rather be doing? Was there somewhere else I'd rather spend my time/money/energy?

Whatever you decide, best of luck. Why don't you post some amazing pictures of the tank in all it's glory.

 

[VintageReefer]

I am sorry for your losses.

I would say the most expensive name brand stuff isn’t always the best.

Those ecotech backups are notorious for failing. That would be the first thing I replace/upgrade

Check out my tank thread. After I had some life changes and lost nearly everything, I let the tank go for 2 years with one fish and a few basic corals. When I was ready and motivated I designed and built a low maintenance reef. I detail the tank and setup in the first few pages of “my tank thread” and the last few pages are all current pics. My goal was to make a new tank that could absorb most hiccups that life throws at me. It takes 6 min a week on maintenance. It can run 48 hours without power on battery. Anything longer I have a gas generator.

 

[livinlifeinBKK]

Your mention of how the "latest and greatest" technology and equipment simply isnt the best should be a new thread.

This is purely my opinion, but if I were you I wouldn't quit the hobby because you obviously have a love for it if you've been in it for 18 years. Personally, I'd take all the knowledge and lessons you've learned from your many years of experience and start a new, smaller tank that might be easier to manage when disasters like this strike.

 

[exnisstech]

Sorry for your losses. I can't help but think a generator could have prevented this. Only mentioning it as food for thought for other people living in areas that are prone to storms and power outages. A cheap gas generator is less than the cost of an apex.

 

[jaayy]

I understand how big of a loss this is and how discouraging it can feel, especially after investing so much time and money in the hobby. Every hobby has its ups and downs. Have you considered focusing on one area that still brings you joy, like a specific coral or fish species? Sometimes simplifying or resetting a tank can rekindle the passion. Wishing you strength to keep going!

 

[chip shop]

Feeling Defeated After 18 Years in the Hobby

I’ve been in the reefing hobby for roughly 18 years, and right now, I’m feeling like I’ve reached my breaking point. Over the years, I’ve poured my heart, soul, and a lot of money into my 265-gallon reef tank. From top-of-the-line LED lights, skimmers, wave-makers, chiller, reef mat, and battery backups, (you name it, I got it) to constantly staying on top of water parameters and upgrades, I’ve always tried to give my tank the best. But despite all my efforts, it feels like I’m losing this battle.

The recent hurricane that hit Georgia knocked out my power, and to my devastation, one of my battery backup failed when I needed it most. I’ve lost 80% of my fish and corals, including clownfish I’ve raised from fry for over 15 years. These were fish I watched hatch and grow. Losing them hit me harder than I expected.

I’ve gone through a lot in this hobby: just about any disease possible, mass fish losses, algae outbreaks, and even palytoxin poisoning that landed my family and me in the ER. But this… this is different. After all these years, it feels like no matter how much I invest and prepare— time, money, energy — there are still so many things out of my control. And it’s tough to come to terms with that. I've spent thousands on equipment that is simply not good. Reef mat motor broke after a few months, Apex Trident NP (I'm on my second one) that can't seem to measure Po4 correctly to save it's life, Eco Tech LEDS that can't manage to stay in sync with one another, eco tech battery back up that literally can't do the only job it has when the power goes out.

Now, I’m sitting here wondering if I still have it in me to keep going. I love this hobby, but the emotional and financial toll of this latest loss has left me feeling defeated. Has anyone else gone through something like this? How do you pick up the pieces and decide whether to rebuild or walk away? I’m genuinely torn and could really use some advice and perspective from those who understand the struggles.

Thanks for reading and for any guidance you can offer.

went through same Pretty much losing everything and walking in to house with the smell I knew exactly what had happened before I’d even set eyes on tank,was gut wrenching,took some time out and then thought I love this hobby love the buzz of it had a trip to states and a few good lfs and set up again on my return home and so glad I did hang on in there and get back into it,good luck

 

[Reefer Matt]

I’m sorry this happened, and I can understand the helpless feeling that you may be going through, I’ve had a couple of crashes myself in the past. 18 years is a long time in reefing. If it were me, I’d evaluate if the things I missed out on because of the tank are now more important than having one. In other words, has your lifestyle changed to where it would be more desirable to travel or take up other opportunities, or is reefing a big part of your life? Deciding on things like that may help you look at which path forward is best. I wish you the best of luck going forward. Take care!

 

[polyppal]

As rough as the situation is, events like this are a good opportunity to reflect and maybe reprioritize. It sounds like even before the hurricane you were dealing with your fair share of frustration trying to get things sorted too. I’ve been there - in the hobby 20+ years, invested way too much money/time/energy/emotionally (into ultimately what amounts to a material thing).

A hobby should leave you refreshed and relaxed, but reefing had rarely done that for me. Got tired of stressing out about what to do if something goes wrong while I’m away/if there’s a power outage/etc. and I lost thousands of dollars worth of livestock. There are far more important things in life than all of this… so I got rid of the tank and focused on them.

Left the hobby for a few years and when the bug hit me again, I purposefully setup a small simple and predictable system with ez corals that won’t require the physical and mental investment of a big elaborate system, and so far I’m very happy with it…

Fortunately, I live in an area where we don’t really have significant natural disasters (yet…) but I would definitely give simplifying in this hobby serious consideration if I lived in one of those areas.

 

[Jimbo327]

I would say don't make decisions right now when you are at your lowest point. Keep the tank going, and sleep on it for a couple weeks.

And I'm just like you, I have invested heavily into the equipment and automation. You tried your best to get the best equipment for the job, so you didn't fail...in this case, your equipment did. I think you need to take a look at your equipment, and see what worked and what needs to change.

I would not rely on anything Neptune/APEX/Ecotech, they are hobbyist grade. I run a full APEX, but I've taken enough apart a lot of their parts to fix or look at, and it's very low quality components inside. It is very strange that they keep pushing out Trident NP when half of the users are not getting accurate readings. For the ecotech lights, I think if you get the MXM module, and that will be able to fix it. I would not rely on their battery backup, you will need to find another solution...perhaps a gas generator that you can pull out if needed. I know you don't want to hear it, but Hydros seems to use better quality components.

It is always tough after a major crash. Take some time. Clean as best as you can. It's definitely tough mentally and financially to reboot, but maybe it'll give you a fresh restart and change up a few things.

 

[SimbaAnto]

I have been in this situation when i moved my home 3 years back and the power company just took out the power earlier than the designated date. I lost everything and thought about leaving the hobby the moment i saw that. I still have those pics in my phone and often look at it and where i am now. So yes you go through natural grief and you will recoup and come back. Best of luck.

One suggestion is that, Please get a Geneator if you could. I did buy one two years back and never used it untill this Hurricane Helene as i lost power for 12 hours in Jacksonville. Survived with Generator. You never know when it will be used. But when its used, its going to save you a lot.

 

[Freddie83]

I recently went through my own crash, while words can only do so much in terms of comfort, I think it's important to understand why you've enjoyed the hobby so much over the last 18 years.

Was it just the end goal of an amazing tank or did you enjoy the process of gathering the materials, studying the known information, putting the time and energy to build up the tank?

Journey before destination?

A tank crash is a natural stopping point and I took a break for a few weeks let the emotions clear and examined if I still enjoyed the hobby. I had to ask myself was there another hobby that I'd rather be doing? Was there somewhere else I'd rather spend my time/money/energy?

Whatever you decide, best of luck. Why don't you post some amazing pictures of the tank in all it's glory.

Thank you so much for your message, I really appreciate it.

Your question got me thinking about what I enjoyed most about the hobby. I realized it was how it kept me busy. I loved searching online for rare corals I had my eye on, and buying live stock always brought me joy. It even helped me deal with depression at times. Money comes and goes, but losing the fish is what really hurts.

I will never forget, one of my wrasses had a large piece of food stuck in it's mouth one day while feeding, I could tell it was really struggling with it, you would never believe it but it swam to where I was standing and let me pull that huge piece of food out of it's mouth. I could pet most of my fish.

 

[Freddie83]

Sorry for your losses. I can't help but think a generator could have prevented this. Only mentioning it as food for thought for other people living in areas that are prone to storms and power outages. A cheap gas generator is less than the cost of an apex.

Definitely, finding a generator the day of a hurricane is next to impossible, I ended up finding one Sunday (2 days after the fact)m would I have know the battery backup would be unreliable I would've bought a generator to keep years ago.

 

[Freddie83]

I understand how big of a loss this is and how discouraging it can feel, especially after investing so much time and money in the hobby. Every hobby has its ups and downs. Have you considered focusing on one area that still brings you joy, like a specific coral or fish species? Sometimes simplifying or resetting a tank can rekindle the passion. Wishing you strength to keep going!

Yes, actually I have. I had so many show size fish that I think having schools of little fish in such a large aquarium would be fun and different, definitely going to give it several weeks before I decide what to do.