Spouse thinks reef lighting is tacky...

[Kzang]

Fair enough... ha.

All joking aside, I feel you. My son's mother (we are no longer together) was super controlling like this. She wouldn't even let me hang a painting that is a $2k Thomas kinkade, Perseverance.

Get help

 

[Quietman]

All joking aside, I feel you. My son's mother (we are no longer together) was super controlling like this. She wouldn't even let me hang a painting that is a $2k Thomas kinkade, Perseverance.

Get help

That's a nice painting....it's not dog's playing poker, or Elvis on black velvet, mind you...but very nice all the same.

Kidding of course...it is one of the few of his I like. Usually way over the top on the dreamy effects but that one has a very nice realism to it.

 

[Rcpilot]

The nonchalant attitude toward divorce in this thread is depressing. I hope you people don’t have kids, and If you do, I feel sorry for your children.

No judging. You haven't walked in their shoes or lived through what they've been through.

 

[JumboShrimp]

Tell her “Ivy League studies have shown” and “9-out-of-10 Rocket Scientists agree” that saltwater aquarium Blue-light-exposure boots a child’s IQ by 20 points. (Then add that famous con-man line: “... And you can check me up on THAT if you don’t believe me!”) Best wishes.

 

[southerntnreefer]

it will come around someday. My wife hated hated hated the look, and the light bleed etc. She now has her own tank, i have a 220 in the basement for experimenting, and she just bought me a 72 bow, and has decided she wants a custom canopy to hide all the light bleed.

 

[Kzang]

That's a nice painting....it's not dog's playing poker, or Elvis on black velvet, mind you...but very nice all the same.

Kidding of course...it is one of the few of his I like. Usually way over the top on the dreamy effects but that one has a very nice realism to it.

I really enjoy it. It is quite nice and has a good message behind it

 

[Quietman]

I really enjoy it. It is quite nice and has a good message behind it

Oh, so you're saying my Elvis on black velvet doesn't have a message behind it?

 

[Kzang]

Oh, so you're saying my Elvis on black velvet doesn't have a message behind it?

Yep. Hopefully it is skinny Elvis and not far Elvis

 

[Bruce Burnett]

Only 32 years here. And I'm holding fast with "grow a set".

Like I say I can always get my way. I have had a tank forever. I have put it where ever I wanted but we discuss it. My last tank was 280 gallon display.

 

[Quietman]

Yep. Hopefully it is skinny Elvis and not far Elvis

Man, if you're going to have Elvis, you want the fat, white leather jump suit clad, red cape wearin, too long side burns, sweaty hair hanging, droppin to one knee, all that is rock and roll excess, Elvis! Long live the King!!!

 

[Bruce Burnett]

I told my wife I was thinking about jumping back into the hobby after taking a break for about 8yrs. Last time I had a tank was with a different wife. She didn't balk for a second. She wanted to see pics of fish and corals. She totally loves LPS corals and palys.

We're both project managers so we sat down and did a quick, but conservative budget. (meaning we over estimated the cost)

Money wasn't an issue so the tank got a green light and we bought a used 90g setup. Brought it home and set it in the LIVING ROOM. Didn't even have water in it yet when she looked at the tank and said, "Seems a bit small. Why don't you try to sell that and get a bigger one?"

I went and bought a 180g RR the next week.

I feel sorry for the OP and people with similarly disposed spouses. No offense. It's just sad. That's your life partner and you're sharing a house together, but it's ALLLLLLL about what she wants.

I'd be gone so fast... she wouldn't see nuthin but a vapor trail.

Only request by my wife is keep it clean and don't spend money we don't have. We have a partnership and we both normally get what we want. I still want her to be happy and I think she wants me to be happy.

 

[Bruce Burnett]

Anyone know what the OP ended up doing? Is the OP even following? Wouldn't blame him if he stopped following - I doubt he came here to get the advice to dump any women who dared had issues with his tank. LOL.

There are ways to getting what you want with a wife and the answer is not to dump her as the next one could be worse. If she is truly demanding and in control of everything that is a different story. I let my wife be in control as she does 90 percent of the cleaning

 

[Mical]

Yep. Hopefully it is skinny Elvis and not far Elvis

depends on what planet

 

[Quietman]

There are ways to getting what you want with a wife and the answer is not to dump her as the next one could be worse. If she is truly demanding and in control of everything that is a different story. I let my wife be in control as she does 90 percent of the cleaning

I only let my wife think she's in control. The dog and I were secretly plotting a coup. Except lately the dog's been getting more treats so I can't trust her anymore.

 

[Bruce Burnett]

I only let my wife think she's in control. The dog and I were secretly plotting a coup. Except lately the dog's been getting more treats so I can't trust her anymore.

That's funny with the dog we have two both are hers but they prefer me. Like I said I let my wife be in control she know who really is.

 

[maroun.c]

Just add a canopy to cut down in light spill causing the whole room to look bluish. or simply run lights from morning to late afternoon where light reflection or color cant be seen from outside.

 

[JaaxReef]

So, an update after all of the asides and jokes... haha. Thanks for the input and thoughts everyone.

She is on board after a few conversations on how we can organize the room, accessories to help with light spill, and the fact that my 10 month old daughter lights up like you have never seen around reef aquariums.

We will be getting a Reefer425XL in white. One of the best things, is that I mentioned this to our home builder and they offered to have the structural engineer come up with an floor bracing plan to support the weight (I told them at least 1500 lbs) under where I wanted the tank. They already put in the additional joists and floor supports for free! Tank likely coming spring/summer 2020!

Long story short, the respectful conversations about how this is important to me were worth it. Although having my daughter love it helps... ha! She said she is even interested in making it a family hobby and she wants to learn about it, so that’s pretty great too.

 

[stacksoner]

So... yes, another thread on this topic.

A little background: My wife is VERY into aesthetics. If something doesn’t perfectly fit the room or it doesn’t look chic or stands out, she thinks it’s tacky or trashy. I don’t think she is completely opposed to the idea of me having a tank after she saw how great it looked and how much my little 9 month old daughter loved watching it before.

I was able to get a small tank Red Sea E170 with white cabinet in our current place we just sold since she worked with me to design a room around it, so it looked like it fit in more. The room was a loft on the interior of the house and was not visible from any windows. She hated the higher kelvin temp lighting because she thinks it looks tacky, especially if you could see it from a window from the outside of the home.

So, we are moving and building a new home, which meant renting for 3-4 months. Home should be done on March. I sold our tank and all livestock and shut everything down since I couldn’t have it while renting. Putting the money from sales aside to hopefully start a new tank next year. Of course being a reefer, I think about upgrades and having a larger system that is planned out to go in a specific room in our house and have a water station the the basement. She seemed on board and supportive at first, given our daughter’s interest in the tank.

As we are talking about the house and the design and look of the rooms, she just casually mentions, she has been thinking and she doesn’t want a tank in a place where people can see the “tacky bluish light” through a window... which rules out every room in the house other than the unfinished basement. So to me it feels like she just shut down the idea of a tank at all...

I really wanted the tank on the main floor, just so my daughter and I can enjoy it, and honestly don’t care about what people think of the color hue of light they can see through a window when they drive by our house... I think it is a little obsessive and frustrating that she cares so much that now I can’t have the tank in a main living space where I could enjoy it. I no longer see it worth the investment to put it somewhere where it is basically hidden and I don’t spend any time.

Any tips or ideas on how I can approach this? I know this hobby is a fulfilling and very fun one, and I’d rather not give it up if I don’t have to. Plus it might be a fun way to enjoy something and bond with my daughter as she gets older.

Same boat. The light pollution is a huge issue. It seems like the tanks with hoods don't have this issue and all light is contained within the confines of the tank where it belongs.

 

[maroun.c]

Great to hear that it worked out. Having the family involved is double the pleasure as well.

 

[daftwazzock]

Same boat. The light pollution is a huge issue. It seems like the tanks with hoods don't have this issue and all light is contained within the confines of the tank where it belongs.

I prefer the light pollution. There isn't much sun in the winter where I live, even during the day, and the lights are great after 4 when the sun has set

I ramp the whites down and run blues/UV for a very gezellig living room. I should start a PR campaign about how reef tanks can stave off seasonal depression...