Relationships and Tanks

clsbgirl · Mar 3, 2018

So I've had a heck of a new year. I broke down my 75 gallon reef tank, which anybody who's done it knows how big a pain that is, but I did it because I didn't have the time for the upkeep. Anyway I stuffed as much as I could into a 10 gallon, and it turned out to be a pretty cute looking tank, all softies, my clown fish and a royal gramma. Unfortunatley I ended up breaking up with my fiance, and he turned out to be a real jerk when it came to my things, including my tank. He wouldn't let me get my things out of the home, and I begged to at least get the little tank being he has no clue as to how to take care of these fish, but was denied. So needless to say I get a text message saying that everything is dying,

, and that it's my fault. The situation is bad enough, but that was just icing on the cake. Years of work and money, and all just flushed down the drain. If anybody else was in a similar situation I'd love to hear some inspiration from you guys. I guess I'll be starting from scratch again, ugh!

Pntbll687 · Mar 3, 2018

Sorry about your situation. Sounds like a new tank will be a fresh start for you.

Not in the same situation, but my wife does mention how much of my time the tanks take up. I've been working on getting larger sumps, ato, and trying to find a decent auto feeder to lighten the load of little things I usually have to take care of. This way it doesnt seem like I'm always doing something with the tank.

Bpb · Mar 3, 2018

That’s brutal I’m sorry to hear that. Unfortunately there’s really not much that can be done at this point. That seems like something that would be super difficult to settle litigiously. Kind of gotta cut your losses at this point and start fresh. I know God forbid, if my wife and I ever split up, the tank would be a major source of additional stress and id likely break down and sell off all the livestock. If your ex refuses to even let you around to get your stuff I don’t know what to say.

DancingShark · Mar 3, 2018

Just don't look back keep going with your life. I wouldn't even let him know how much it bothers you. Him blaming you is probably a way of trying to hurt you. Regard less of the reason for your break up try to hurt each other after it is never healthy.

rich nyc · Mar 3, 2018

Wow I am sorry to hear to that. Good thing you did not marry such a jerk. Maybe locally on manhattan reefs people could give you some free stuff. I have given many things away there myself

clsbgirl · Mar 3, 2018

rich nyc said:
Wow I am sorry to hear to that. Good thing you did not marry such a jerk. Maybe locally on manhattan reefs people could give you some free stuff. I have given many things away there myself

Thanks for the info, once my new place is set up, that wide definitely be something I look into.

clsbgirl · Mar 3, 2018

DancingShark said:
Just don't look back keep going with your life. I wouldn't even let him know how much it bothers you. Him blaming you is probably a way of trying to hurt you. Regard less of the reason for your break up try to hurt each other after it is never healthy.

I'm definitely moving on, it just stinks that someone would take away something you enjoyed so much.

CindyKz · Mar 3, 2018

It does suck. He must be a real butt jack to allow small creatures to suffer like that. Thank goodness you got away from him before that cruel streak turned against you in an even bigger way.

Your next tank will be beautiful....without that jerk.

mandi29221 · Mar 7, 2018

So I got rid of my tank so my parents in laws would ****. Well tax return hit. Hubby said on my birthday I have a surprise. He bought me a 75 gal for 300$ from petsmart. I just wanna say it's hard as hell and hurts so bad. But once you find a man who loves to make you happy it will be in the past. His parents are 2 faced ***holes. Want me to suffer. So because I suggested getting a bigger tank hubby said maybe I should sell it. With the goal of a bigger tank in his mind. Now I just started it up today and he is enjoying the experience of a fresh new start with me. It sucks. But it won't be your last. Ppl are messed up. And try to hurt you. Good luck in the future of a new tank and a grown man.

Fin · Mar 7, 2018

Sorry that happened to you. Some people can be so awful to others. It was completely beyond your control, so you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. Start over, enjoy life and be thankful you had the foresight to move on from that relationship.

clsbgirl · Mar 7, 2018

mandi29221 said:
So I got rid of my tank so my parents in laws would ****. Well tax return hit. Hubby said on my birthday I have a surprise. He bought me a 75 gal for 300$ from petsmart. I just wanna say it's hard as hell and hurts so bad. But once you find a man who loves to make you happy it will be in the past. His parents are 2 faced ***holes. Want me to suffer. So because I suggested getting a bigger tank hubby said maybe I should sell it. With the goal of a bigger tank in his mind. Now I just started it up today and he is enjoying the experience of a fresh new start with me. It sucks. But it won't be your last. Ppl are messed up. And try to hurt you. Good luck in the future of a new tank and a grown man.

That is awesome, I hope I can rebuild like you are doing. Thanks for the words

clsbgirl · Mar 7, 2018

Fin said:
Sorry that happened to you. Some people can be so awful to others. It was completely beyond your control, so you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. Start over, enjoy life and be thankful you had the foresight to move on from that relationship.

Thanks