I’m definitely praying for you, Deo volenteI’m writing this as a last resort to get my mind off of what’s going on right now. As silly as it may sound to some, it’s about my cat. I found Osiris ten years ago in the engine compartment of subaru. He was a tiny kitten, goopey-eyed and fiesty. I was in a really abusive relationship at the time and brought him home into that. I’ve always been really protective of him and we eventually both got out of that situation. He got me through it. Now back May, I noticed he was a little lethargic and had my current fiancé Theresa take him to work since she’s a registered veterinary technician. Blood was drawn and the next day we found out his kidney values were really bad. We immediately switched him onto a special kidney diet and gave him subcutaneous fluids every day. As time went by, he became more finicky and a few weeks ago, he stopped eating completely. Since then, we’ve been force feeding him around 80ml of wet food daily, hoping between this and his fluids, his values would improve and he would start eating again since he would need 180ml daily to maintain weight. We even added a phosphate binder to the regiment. It didn’t work.. He lost a lot of weight and is pretty much just sleeping most of the day now. At that point I knew the end was coming no matter what and hid all photos I have of him to keep myself sane. Theresa took him in again yesterday for more bloodwork and it came back today. His kidney values had improved a little, but now he has a liver issue that makes everything probably a moot point now. I made it clear a few months ago to Theresa that I don’t want Osiris to suffer and I feel like he’s at that point. Theresa is a little in denial over this but came to accept the reality of things this morning. She’s going to make an appointment today for a vet to come to our home and send Osiris to a better home. We’re obviously in a lot of pain right now over this and Theresa feels like she’s giving up on him somehow. As for me, I’m a high school custodian doing final touches on summer cleaning. This is the only time of the year where we go off an doing our own thing for the full shift. But I feel like I can’t do anything. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to go home. I honestly should’ve stayed home today but that place has become my personal hell lately. I’ve lost family before but I wasn’t as close to them as I was to my little furball.