First I have to say I love R2R! It does strive to be the "most friendly reef forum in the world". Friendly, warm members from all around the globe coming together to share passion and knowledge of an exciting hobby.
In November, my reef tank will turn 2 years old. I definitely consider myself still a newbie! This is my first tank. I wanted to share the viewpoint of a newbie,. so members can keep a few points in mind as they post replies to a beginner.
1. They are new so they can't judge 'good' versus 'bad' advice!
Please keep this in mind! I read a lot before hiring someone local to set my tank up for me and ''mentor' me. I then asked for references and 'interviewed' or talked to this person in depth. I told them the health of the fish I was about to add was my #1 priority. Despite this, I received some bad advice when I started.
2. There is a lot of information out there now - especially online. Newbies need support from 'mentors' to wade through it all!
You're a newbie -so much info! Do you get it online? Is it accurate? Are those tank reference books up to date with the latest technology? And face it - the online contradictory opinions on certain issues is maddening to a newbie.
3. This newbie may be coming to you with misconceptions that are not their own but from someone they trusted! It may be someone that was misinformed themselves OR someone taking advantage to make money.
You're a newbie. You are so excited about your tank! You are inexperienced. You are more trusting of others with experience because you want guidance! You want to get this right!
4. There are people in the business that have years of experience but .... ignorant experience and they pass it on to others.
Yep! Myths. "Old Wives Tales". "Well my friend does this & his tank looks awesome!" etc.
I was traveling and stopped at a very reputable LFS with 'to die for' livestock. I was admiring the beautiful powder blue tangs. A staff member told me I should "get 2 - they like to school together". (Yes - reaIly.) When I probed the manager about such a statement she agreed.
5. Be kind. Be empathetic.
Be kind! They are posting for your help, not shaming. Some are not even asking for help but just SO excited. You read their post and see a major mistake - correct them kindly. They will appreciate your support!
6. If you make a mistake -apologize!
Sometimes someone is guilty 'bashing', 'shaming' or 'flaming' in a thread. I believe (I'm an optimist!) most people probably feel guilt/remorse when they realize the pain they caused. Sometimes in your passion, words come out sounding harsh. Be strong and do the noble thing - apologize. Go to that same thread and apologize where everyone can see it. (Don't just send a pm). You will be forgiven and regain respect.
I have seen this - no one wants to view you as a cold arrogant jerk. They want to forgive you.
7. You have tremendous responsibility.
Your treatment of a newbie can be one of support and kindness so you empower someone in this hobby! How awesome is that! You can also deflate them to the point where they give up and quit. Make the right choice!
I felt compelled to write this after reading one of the rare negative posts from a member to a newbie. I promise I am not preaching just speaking from the heart. I believe that R2R is a fantastic positive forum. I am so grateful to so many of them:
@revhtree - for establishing this great forum
@eatbreakfast - for fish stocking advice
@Humblefish & @melypr1985 - for helping all those newbies treat sick fish babies
@4FordFamily - who guided me to success with my Blonde Naso
There are so many more . But just read posts by the above examples to see how to support, encourage and empower newbies! R2R has a incredible staff that models such positive support. Show a newbie some love!
In November, my reef tank will turn 2 years old. I definitely consider myself still a newbie! This is my first tank. I wanted to share the viewpoint of a newbie,. so members can keep a few points in mind as they post replies to a beginner.
1. They are new so they can't judge 'good' versus 'bad' advice!
Please keep this in mind! I read a lot before hiring someone local to set my tank up for me and ''mentor' me. I then asked for references and 'interviewed' or talked to this person in depth. I told them the health of the fish I was about to add was my #1 priority. Despite this, I received some bad advice when I started.
2. There is a lot of information out there now - especially online. Newbies need support from 'mentors' to wade through it all!
You're a newbie -so much info! Do you get it online? Is it accurate? Are those tank reference books up to date with the latest technology? And face it - the online contradictory opinions on certain issues is maddening to a newbie.
3. This newbie may be coming to you with misconceptions that are not their own but from someone they trusted! It may be someone that was misinformed themselves OR someone taking advantage to make money.
You're a newbie. You are so excited about your tank! You are inexperienced. You are more trusting of others with experience because you want guidance! You want to get this right!
4. There are people in the business that have years of experience but .... ignorant experience and they pass it on to others.
Yep! Myths. "Old Wives Tales". "Well my friend does this & his tank looks awesome!" etc.
I was traveling and stopped at a very reputable LFS with 'to die for' livestock. I was admiring the beautiful powder blue tangs. A staff member told me I should "get 2 - they like to school together". (Yes - reaIly.) When I probed the manager about such a statement she agreed.
5. Be kind. Be empathetic.
Be kind! They are posting for your help, not shaming. Some are not even asking for help but just SO excited. You read their post and see a major mistake - correct them kindly. They will appreciate your support!
6. If you make a mistake -apologize!
Sometimes someone is guilty 'bashing', 'shaming' or 'flaming' in a thread. I believe (I'm an optimist!) most people probably feel guilt/remorse when they realize the pain they caused. Sometimes in your passion, words come out sounding harsh. Be strong and do the noble thing - apologize. Go to that same thread and apologize where everyone can see it. (Don't just send a pm). You will be forgiven and regain respect.
I have seen this - no one wants to view you as a cold arrogant jerk. They want to forgive you.
7. You have tremendous responsibility.
Your treatment of a newbie can be one of support and kindness so you empower someone in this hobby! How awesome is that! You can also deflate them to the point where they give up and quit. Make the right choice!
I felt compelled to write this after reading one of the rare negative posts from a member to a newbie. I promise I am not preaching just speaking from the heart. I believe that R2R is a fantastic positive forum. I am so grateful to so many of them:
@revhtree - for establishing this great forum
@eatbreakfast - for fish stocking advice
@Humblefish & @melypr1985 - for helping all those newbies treat sick fish babies
@4FordFamily - who guided me to success with my Blonde Naso
There are so many more . But just read posts by the above examples to see how to support, encourage and empower newbies! R2R has a incredible staff that models such positive support. Show a newbie some love!
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