I didnt get the ugly phase either. I think for me it was 10% water changes and beneficial bacteria and 90% luck. As for the hitchhikers fortunately I isolated long enough to find them before they became a problem. Ive only seen one bristleworm in my display tank ever and the aptasia rock was immediately and carefully removed and treated with F aptasia thanks to the members of this group giving me perfect directions to keep it from spreading. Never seen another aptasia in either of my current tanks.Good Lord! Find another LFS! There's always gonna be some stuff on them. I did this all back in the mid 90's and live rock was actually Alive. It was like Forrest Gump and Chocolate...You never knew what you were gonna get. But one thing that never happened was the "Ugly phase". To me, Biome is the most important thing. It sounds like you've done what you can to start it up but got burnt on some hitchhikers. Deal with those as best you can. Get a natural predator for them...More than one type of possible. Always better that way. Nature knows what it's doing.