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thecodingart

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Over the past year, I’ve gotten pretty knee deep in this hobby.

WWC and Top Shelf Aquatics are down the street from me where I’ve made friends at both and have become very aquented with the employees .
I was lucky enough to make friends from Saltwater Aquariums and quite a few other well know businesses across the US at different large reefing events and trade shows.

Myself, I have 2 successful tanks (still learning about certain types of coral care) and a 3rd in the making ranging from nano tanks to 300 gallons tanks.

My wife posted something earlier today where she had a loss in her nano tank — and was grilled from an ammonia spike when posting parameters as she had a loss in the tank (she was being told her tank wasn’t cycled ).

One thing I have come to learn from each and every connection at these popular places, where almost all of you have shopped at or asked advice from, is that not a single one of these people like posting in social media forums (they mostly avoid them). Why you might ask? Because these communities come across as toxic and ignorant. My primary target is around well known Facebook groups to be clear.

It seems rather help individuals, most people in those forums like to equate tenure to a sixth sense where they can assume as they want and assert irrelevant and opinionated information as facts — while lacking context.

The crap my wife took was a good taste of that — and man do I hope these communities fix their toxicity.

P.S. I dont actually think R2R has a General post area — which is surprising.
 
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revhtree

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Over the past year, I’ve gotten pretty knee deep in this hobby.

WWC and Top Shelf Aquatics are down the street from me where I’ve made friends at both and have become very aquented with the employees .
I was lucky enough to make friends from Saltwater Aquariums and quite a few other well know businesses across the US at different large reefing events and trade shows.

Myself, I have 2 successful tanks (still learning about certain types of coral care) and a 3rd in the making ranging from nano tanks to 300 gallons tanks.

My wife posted something earlier today where she had a loss in her nano tank — and was grilled from an ammonia spike when posting parameters as she had a loss in the tank (she was being told her tank wasn’t cycled ).

One thing I have come to learn from each and every connection at these popular places, where almost all of you have shopped at or asked advice from, is that not a single one of these people like posting in these forums (they mostly avoid them). Why you might ask? Because these communities come across as toxic and ignorant. My primary target is around well known Facebook groups to be clear.

It seems rather help individuals, most people in those forums like to equate tenure to a sixth sense where they can assume as they want and assert irrelevant and opinionated information as facts — while lacking context.

The crap my wife took was a good taste of that — and man do I hope these communities fix their toxicity.

P.S. I dont actually think R2R has a General post area — which is surprising.
Hello,

Your wife got grilled here? If so please report the post so we can take a look.

Thank you,
 

revhtree

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No no, to be specific, this rant is targeted at Facebook social media groups.

I wish more of these groups were like R2R ediquitte (an improvement).
Ok thank you and I was worried. I know we have “toxic” type posting at times but we really want to encourage people to be more mindful of how posts come across to others. Sorry this happened to your wife!
 

exnisstech

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So are you saying it was on Facebook or here that is the problem? If it's here that would be unusual unless your wife is overly sensitive. While things can get heated at times it's pretty civil for the most part. To be honest this forum is the only online social media type of platform I use. I refuse to use Facebook and all the other platforms out there.

EDIT : Sorry I was typing while you were replying and now see it was Facebook. Tell your wife to dump Facebook and sign up here and we'll welcome her with open arms!
 
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thecodingart

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So are you saying it was on Facebook or here that is the problem? If it's here that would be unusual unless your wife is overly sensitive. While things can get heated at times it's pretty civil for the most part. To be honest this forum is the only online social media type of platform I use. I refuse to use Facebook and all the other platforms out there.
Facebook .. BRS, Beginner Groups, etc.
 

Reefer Matt

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A community is only as strong as its leaders. Facebook groups tend to lack the leadership that is present here. People often forget how to communicate appropriately with others. It’s up to the leaders to remind them from time to time.
 

Kasrift

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I think sometimes also people don't mean to be toxic and it doesn't sound toxic in their head but the other person might be completely I innocent.
Agree and also think there are toxic people on the Internet everywhere.

In reefing, I think some of it that is "toxic" stems from the passion for the hobby. There are people that take the death of a fish friend like that of a long loved doggo, and they feel the need to shame others as if they didn't try their best to keep the fish friends alive. The other part stems from just the human nature of wanting to be right. People accumulate a set level of knowledge and believe they are right no matter what, when there is indefinite levels of knowledge to yearn for.

At the end of the day, take what good advice you can and ignore the haters.

shake it off taylor swift GIF
 

Ben's Pico Reefing

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Sorry to hear tgis happened. But here is a great thread rom @Randy Holmes-Farley

Some people who only post on social media sites dont have the basic or dont even know how a "cycle" really works.
 

twentyleagues

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I hate social media including youtube. I dont know if youtube is exactly social media. People are just ignorant sometimes. They may not mean to be mean or insensitive and then you have trolls.
 
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thecodingart

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Sorry to hear tgis happened. But here is a great thread rom @Randy Holmes-Farley

Some people who only post on social media sites dont have the basic or dont even know how a "cycle" really works.
In her case it was a 0.30ppm ammonia spike paired with a .02ppm NO2 spike — she then was lectured and hammered on how her tank wasn’t cycled and such without context. It wasn’t pretty. Even a 1.023 salinity was criticized (fun fact that’s what most major stores keep theirs at..)
 

Aquariumaddictuk

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Deleted Facebook & twitter many moons ago.
Toxic mob rule seemed to be the preferred medium on there.
Linkdin turned into a virtue signalling horror full of people telling you to work more/work less & congratulating each other on corporate achievements.
I have Instagram purely to interact with other "fish nerds".
Certain other UK based reef forums seem to have a few dominant personalities usually shilling products sent to them via their YouTube accounts.
This forum has helped me hugely with the transition from fresh to marine & generally everyone has been very helpful.
 

Garf

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In her case it was a 0.30ppm ammonia spike paired with a .02ppm NO2 spike — she then was lectured and hammered on how her tank wasn’t cycled and such without context. It wasn’t pretty. Even a 1.023 salinity was criticized (fun fact that’s what most major stores keep theirs at..)
It wasn't that then, when converted to NH3 (presuming her reading is NH3/NH4) it's still in the safe range. More of a lump than a spike.
 
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thecodingart

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It wasn't that then, when converted to NH3 (presuming her reading is NH3/NH4) it's still in the safe range. More of a lump than a spike.
Exactly my point — but you know “experts with thoughts”.

The passing was a starfish and it likely starved amongst other environmental factors. We both new that’s unfortunately what probably happened, but she was barraged for all of the aforementioned reasons and more. (Sand sifting starfish she was temporarily placing in a nano tank).

She was being told that she needs to “actually do research before doing anything else to the tank”.
 

Gumbies R Us

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I stay away from Facebook just because of how toxic it can be. I like R2R cause it is more of a family-oriented place, where I feel like people can post questions and get answers without it turning into a toxic environment
 
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