Humor

[Paul_N]

Got any good jokes post em' up here:

man walked into
> a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the
> bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention and
>
> asked, "Sir, what will you
> have?"
>
> The man thought a moment then replied, "A martini please."
>
> The robot
> clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man had ever
> had.
>
> The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?"
>
> The man answered "oh, about
> 164."
>
> The robot then proceeded to discuss the 'theory of relativity',
>
> 'inter-steller space travel', 'the latest medical break throughs',
>
> etc.......
>
> The man was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try a
> different tact. He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked
> and asked what he would have? "A Martini please."
>
> Again it was superb. The robot again asked "what is your IQ sir?"
>
> This time the man answered, "Oh about 100". So the robot started
>
> discussing Nascar racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to
> expect the
>
> Dodgers to do this weekend.
>
> The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a
> stool.... Again a martini, and the question, "What is your IQ?"??
>
> This time the man drawled out "Uh..... bout
> 50".
>
> The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly
> asked,
>





> ....................
>
> "A-r-e? y-o-u-r? p-e-o-p-l-e???
> h-a-p-p-y? w-i-t-h
> O-B-A-M-A?????

 

[bigmatt1992]

o god someone is gonna take that one the wrong way lol. i can see it now lol.

 

[Paul_N]

[FONT=&quot]Why Parents Drink[/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.[/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]Dear Dad:[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. however, I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]But, it's not only the passion ..... Dad she's pregnant.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Stacy said that we would be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]In the meantime, we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.[/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]Love, Your Son John[/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.[/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]I love you.[/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]Have mom call me when it's safe to come home.[/FONT]

 

[vr697getta]

thats awesome

 

[Paul_N]

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom.'